Refining Self Control

Our boys’ social and emotional development has been quite good so far. Being a twin probably is an advantage here because they have had to practice sharing the same space since day one. Already they: follow simple directions well; enjoy helping with household tasks; recognize their own limits and ask for help; play near, and sometimes with, other children; can make choices between two items; notice people’s moods and feelings; seek to explore new experiences; and are fairly independent. At this age, a typical child is; jealous, lies to protect them selves, imagines unfamiliar objects are “monsters,” and cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. We have seen some of this in each boy. Over the next year, we look forward to more: turn taking, sharing and cooperating; expressing anger verbally rather than physically; negotiating solutions to conflicts; and viewing their self as a whole person involving a body, mind and feelings.

Much to say and think about

Our boys’ language and thinking skills have already developed a great deal. They now process information and make calculated decisions based on cause-and-effect relationships. Each learns by doing and through their senses, and communicates in complete sentences of five words or more. It will be a treat over the next year to help them understand: the concepts of “now,” “soon,” and “later;” about past, present, and future; about how words relate one idea to another — if, why, when; the basic difference between fantasy and reality; and ideas about numbers and space — more, less, bigger, in, under, behind. They will begin to understand most of what is said to them and 75 percent of their speech will become understandable to strangers. The boys’ vocabulary will grow beyond 1,500 words and more complex sentences will emerge. Grammar will drastically improve as they begin to telling their own stories to one and all.

Birthday Benchmark Photo – 3 Years 1 Month

Highly active, silly, talkative, helpful and defiant may best describe the boys at this stage. They are constantly observing and exploring the world around them, and they want you to acknowledge every achievement they make “Hey Daddy, I found Thomas” or “Look Mommy, I pooped.” And of course with twins, this comes in stereo. It is a lot of fun except when their energy level surges into the red zone. Then trouble often follows. They often scream over one another to be heard. Benji will start acting silly and not stop. Davey will become focused on a task and strongly resist leaving even to eat or potty. Benji will tattle and Davey will hit when provoked. When they are under control however, our boys are eager to please. They will help put away toys and make the bed. Minding the boys these days is not for the meek.

Fine Motor Skill Tuning

If you watch the boys play with their toy trains very long, you can see them flex their fine motor skills. We have also used puzzles, play dough, and wooden blocks effectively to reach many of our three-year-old fine motor goals. Unfortunately though, Davey and Benji haven’t really shown much interest thus far in drawing and coloring. In the coming year, we have plans to find more ways to stir their interest in more paperwork. Sandy has found Thomas the Train coloring pages. We are hoping that will inspire their attention and help us teach them how to master: drawing circles, squares and crosses; copying some capital letters; drawing a person with two to four body parts; using scissors; cutting on a line; and finger painting. They can do it if they try.

Logan’s Leadership

Logan is 10 years old and the twins’ second cousin. He was the youngest of his generation until Levi, Benji and Davey came along. At this year’s Edds Christmas Eve party at Great Uncle Richard’s house, we watched Logan’s transformation from the family’s baby to a wise elder cousin.  Knowing he would see the boys and that they too were interested in trains, he brought his coveted Steam Locomotive book from his Lexington home to show them. Logan has been following trains for many years and had much to share with them. Later, while the adults were playing The Family Feud Game in the basement, Logan pulled up the Thomas the Train website to show the boys what all there was to do online. I have so many precious memories of playing with my cousins on previous Christmas Eves, and now the twins do too.

These are fun goals

Last year, Benji and Trey Davey really improved their gross motor skills. They stopped toddling and began walking agilely. The boys mastered running around obstacles, climbing ladders, using slides independently, kicking balls forward, riding a tricycle and alternating feet when climbing stairs. That was all preparation for this year, which is the year Mommy and Daddy teach their boys how to play ball. We are going to learn to catch, bounce and throw a ball overhead. Teaching them to take off running from a standing start, turn and stop in a controlled manner will perfect their base running skills. We are also going to learn to turn somersaults; hop on one foot; gallop; brush teeth; comb hair; wash and dress with little assistance. It’s going to be a fun year.

Proactive New Year’s Goals

Sandy and I learned much from the HANDS program the boys participated in their first two years. At first, there were skills that the boys scored poorly in - not because they couldn’t do it - but because they were totally unprepared. We found that when we looked ahead and prepared for the exam, each boy’s scores better reflected his true abilities. Parent’s today have the advantage of the internet, where abundant childhood data is readily available. Most researchers group developmental milestones into four major categories; gross motor skills, fine motor skills, language/thinking skills, and social/emotional skills. Neither boy is behind his age group in any skill and is ahead of the pack in a few. In order to master everything on our list, we will need to carefully plan more fun activities to stimulate their learning and mastery of our targeted goals. It’s going to be a busy year.