Massage Envy

Being a baby is stressful. You can’t do anything for yourself. Someone has to feed you, dress you, bath you, and change your diaper. You have to perform for company; embarrassing stuff like lying on your back and kicking your legs and waving your arms while smiling and jabbering. It’s embarrassing. And people talk to you using real high voices, like you’re an idiot. You don’t have teeth so you can’t eat solid food, only soft food and milk formula. Man, you get so tired of formula every single meal. But on the upside, you get great massages after your bath. Japanese auto executives should have it so good.