The Davey Dance

Trey Davey Edds loves music so much that it makes him get up and dance. Sandy says that he gets really excited when they visit Kindermusik and his joy for music just bursts out. This is not to say Benji is not a music lover, or that he can’t dance, only that Davey seems more passionate about the outward expression of music. His need to dance isn’t confined to group play dates either. Each morning, The Disney Channel plays a short program where a robot encourages children to get up and dance and Davey usually does. He also particularly enjoys the theme music to the TV program “NCIS”. Seldom does he miss the opportunity to get up and dance when that show comes on. Perhaps one day he will be one of the professional athletes appearing on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Same Train Time, Same Train Table

The twins received two train tables for Christmas, and like them, these models are similar, but not identical. While both are about the same size, one is blonder and the other one is taller - just like our boys. We bought our sons two train tables thinking each child would claim one and have his own area to play with his own trains. I guess that just shows we have a lot to learn, because they always play on the same table at the same time. They have no preference in tables and will play on either one, but it is always the same one and on usually the same track. They also show very little preference towards individual train cars, but typically want the one their brother has. As you would expect, this behavior leads to many brotherly altercations, but don’t try to separate them – they’ll work it out.

Toeing the Line

With Sandy working another all-nighter last night, the boys and I again slipped out quietly early this morning to meet Pa at the Cracker Barrel for breakfast and then headed to the Christian Life Center to play. This week however, Granny joined us at the CLC. As always, Trey Davey was full of energy and running around the gym joyfully, but on this particular morning Benjamin James was dogging it.  He wouldn’t run or play, preferring to roll around on the floor and whine. Granny would have none of it; her boys were not going to be lazy. She took his hand and made a game of line walking along all the stripes in the gym in order to get him sufficient exercise. He is now walking on Granny’s straight and narrow.

Bath and a Half

Our babysitter Carol gives the boys a bath every weekday morning. She likes to get them in and out fairly quickly. Many times on the weekends, the boys shower with me. We find this to be quicker, and it allows us more morning time to play or go to church. Since Mommy is working tonight and the boys and I will be leaving early in the morning, we took the opportunity for an evening bath. Being in no hurry, I allowed the boys a long leisurely bubble bath with all their tub toys. While Benji focused on building a navy, Davey worked with his numbers and letters. When the water cooled down, we drained a little and added more hot water. I had to do a little mopping, but they had a great time.

Breakfast in Bed

The boys want to do everything grownups do, or at least they are beginning to pretend to do those activities. Their imaginations are really developing at this stage, and they are pretending to do household tasks. For this reason, Mommy has begun introducing toys that teach domestic behavior.  A most recent addition is toy dishes. They have been around our toy closet for some time, but the boys have only recently shown interest. These dishes probably date back to Aunt Kristin or possibly before. Sandy recently purchased plastic food to serve on the dishes. They boys are learning how to cook, serve, set the table, stack and store the dishes, similar to the way Mommy and Daddy do downstairs. Of course, once they can do this for real, they’ll lose interest and want to dine out, but that’s another blog.

Cutting Up with Mommy

Sandy thought the boys’ goal of learning to use scissors could be accomplished fairly easily. The difficult part, as it worked out, was selecting and purchasing the right scissors. She wanted models that were age appropriate and provided as much safety for 3-year olds as possible. Since Davey is right handed and Benji is left handed, she needed to find models that could be used with either hand. Ideally, she wanted to find a blue and a green pair to match the boys’ colors, but Davey had to accept a red pair. Once the proper color coded scissors were selected, Sandy sat down with the boys and some paper. Each loved the process of cutting paper and did so until the pages were confetti. When the activity was over, the boys cried when Mommy collected the trash and put the scissors away. Check off another developmental goal.

The ability to focus

Sandy took dozens of photos during our recent Kindermusik visit. Both boys had a blast and were totally engaged in all the activities….well, almost. While reviewing the photos, we noticed this interesting shot of all the children lying on their backs looking up at the floating parachute except for one child. Our Benji had discovered an irregularity in the flooring which captivated his attention for a few minutes. In spite of all the new and interesting activity around him, he was able to maintain focus on his task until he was finished. This ability to focus even in the eye of a storm will serve him well whether he is studying in a noisy classroom or leading his men into battle or preparing to make the winning sports score. Our job as parents is to help him choose productive targets for his focus.

Forming our own Boy Band

Pa played guitar, so I wanted to also. I received an old used Kay brand guitar about the time I started school. Once I mastered the basic cords, I received a better model for my 11^th birthday. Sports were more important than music to me through high school, but after I hung up my cleats, I picked up my guitar more often. Santa brought me this Fender guitar for my 21^st Christmas and we have been friends ever since. When the boys came along, the guitar went into the closet. Like me, they wanted to play it like Daddy and the old guitar is too delicate for them right now. I got it out of the closet the other day and as soon as the boys heard me, they ran to the piano and started pounding away and singing. I hope one day they will learn how to play instruments, and together we’ll make wonderful music.

Puzzling Gifts

Christmas isn’t complete until our friend Dawn visits. She always brings such nice and thoughtful gifts. Last year, she started us off on GeoTrax train sets, and that collection has grown into an obsession. This year, she took it up a level by giving the boys a Thomas the Train jigsaw puzzle. It isn’t a baby puzzle, nor does it have a 1,000 pieces. This age appropriate gift will help the boys advance their jigsaw puzzle skills by presenting a topic they are enthusiastic about. Puzzles like these develop several brain functions at once, most notably the abilities to reason, deduce, analyze, sequence, and develop logical thought and problem solving skills. She also gave them a Veggie Tales DVD. Veggie Tales are animated films featuring talking vegetables teaching morality through fun stories. Gifts like these are life changing.

A Rocking Workout

Last night was the second of Sandy’s four scheduled Friday all-nighters. These are part of her big Syracuse network upgrade project. Like last week, I got the boys up, dressed and out of the house as quietly as possible this morning while Sandy slept downstairs after working all night. We again met Pa at the Cracker Barrel for breakfast, and then drove to the Christian Life Center to play basketball in the gym and games in the toddler room. Winter is a difficult season for our active boys because they are confined to the house’s interior which limits their ability to run and explore new things. They love getting out of the house and cutting loose physically. By snack time, they were winded, sweaty and very thirsty. A pint sized rocking chair and a warm bottle of milk really hit the spot. 

The Reading Station

Both of our boys love books, and train books are their favorite. Perhaps it is more obvious with Benji, who will commonly bring his most coveted books to adults that he would like to read to him, but Trey Davey has his own unique love affair with books. He doesn’t sit still as often as his brother to be read to, but will hover around the adult reading a book he likes. Of course neither boy can actually read yet, but both will turn the pages with great concentration perhaps recalling the story that had been previously read to them or imagining their own stories to accompany to book’s illustrations. We have amassed quite a train book collection already and haven’t even left the reading station; I can only imagine how many car loads of books that will travel down our tracks once the boy’s reading railroad gets moving.

Safe and Sound

Benji has begun seeing monsters. This is common for children his age. In fact, that’s the premise behind the Disney/Pixar animated movie “Monsters, Inc.” No one is really sure what brings this on and almost anything can fuel the fear. Benji says monster trucks are coming, which is inventive. I remember being terrified of vampires and refusing to enter either of my grandmother’s basements. My parents attributed this to my babysitters watching the daytime soap opera “Dark Shadows” where the vampire “Barnabas Collins” lived in the basement. Incidentally, Johnny Depp, who was born in Owensboro three months after me, will portray Barnabas Collins in Tim Burton’s upcoming film adaptation of “Dark Shadows.” Perhaps the original left a lasting impression on young Johnny too. Benji has awoken several times in the middle of the night very upset. Daddy always provides a safe haven, even when he’s asleep.

Lunch with the Guys

Sandy had the day off Monday which allowed her the flexibility to accept her friend Angela’s lunch invitation after their OMOM’s Kindermusik visit. Angela’s boy/girl twins, Grayson and Storey, are just two months older than our boys. Angela also invited Jennifer and her triplets. While his two sisters joined Storey in her room, Jennifer’s son, Peyton (standing), joined the boys in Grayson’s room. Hanging with the guys was a special treat for Grayson and Peyton, whose siblings are sisters. As is common with boys of this age, Grayson had a number of Thomas trains which became the enthusiastic topic of conversation for the four boys.

Parachuting Fun

The OMOMs held a play date today at Kindermusik. This was the boy’s second visit, and again they had a fabulous time. The Owensboro Symphony Academy sponsors Kindermusik because research has proven that music nurtures a child's cognitive, emotional, social, language, and physical development. Grandma Roe accompanied Sandy and the boys to Kindermusik the first time, and Carol joined the trio this time. Trey Davey especially enjoys the music and dancing. They played the shakers, blew bubbles and sang with all the fun songs. One of the highlights of this visit is when the children laid on the floor while a parachute was waved above them. It was our second visit to Kindermusik, but it won’t be our last.

Happy Birthday Cousin Christine

When your family is as spread out as ours, it is difficult to visit very often. When Sandy flew to Utah just after Christmas this year, she had the opportunity to visit with Cousin Christine and her family. Unfortunately, the boys and I couldn’t go. It’s been about a year and a half since we’ve seen Christine and that’s half of the boys’ lifetime. To help them stay connected with everyone, we have filled the family room with family photos and practice naming everyone pictured. Another tool is this digital photo frame which displays a continuous slide show of family photos. Hopefully, we’ll be able to see Christine this summer and the boys will recognize her instantly.

Handmade Plate

I received a very special hand made surprise from the boys this Christmas. They made it especially for me during an OMOM’s play date at Trunnel Farms in October. On this particular outing, Carol went in my place so I didn’t see the boys create my gift. A local artist who specializes in children’s crafts guided them through the project. Each made a hand print on the plate in purple glazing. Then they added finger prints in purple, green and blue. Sandy said it looked kind of strange when the boys were finished and she was amazed to see the final product. Once the artist did the lettering, all the elements came together. It now rests in a place of honor in our dining room.

Saturday Morning Escape

When Sandy is doing a network change, the customer site involved is often unplugged from all Internet, telephone and direct communications for the project’s duration. For this reason, her network changes are sometimes scheduled at night or on weekends where facility disruption can be minimized. We traveled to Syracuse, NY last summer so she could do preliminary work on the changes she will be doing over the next four weeks. The change windows include last night and the next three Friday nights from 5pm until 5am Saturday mornings. Since Sandy is a light sleeper, we decided I would get the boys up and out of the house early. This morning we met Pa at Cracker Barrel for breakfast at 8 am then went to play basketball all morning at the First Baptist Christian Life Center. This left the house quiet for Sandy to sleep after the previous 22 hour work day.

The Ouchie Bobbum Bear

Naked boys streaking around our home’s upstairs is not an uncommon scene these days. It’s fun to shed yourself of restrictive outerwear and enjoy the total freedom of movement possible in your birthday suit. It feels a little dangerous, and sometimes it actually is as Benji unfortunately found out recently. While dodging traffic at an uncontrollable speed, Benji sideswiped a cabinet latch that dug a long deep scratch along his bottom. It bled, turned red and began to swell. After stopping the bleeding, Mommy applied a bear shaped icepack to the injury. Benji milked the accident for all the sympathy he could muster the rest of the day, never letting go of his ouchie bobbum bear.

Potty Mouthing

The newness has worn off and given way to routine. Using the potty has lost its appeal, and now it’s an inconvenience or so it seems. Over the last month or so, the boys have begun to backslide on their potty training progress. Accidents have become more common, and parental patience has been exhausted. Stern lectures have fallen on death ears, or so we thought. Today, Benji filled his underwear with an odorous product just minutes after refusing a bathroom opportunity. I left him waiting in the bathroom while I addressed his soiled briefs. On my return I could hear Davey also in the bathroom giving his brother grief. He was repeating almost word for word what I had said to him the previous evening for the same offence. “Bad boy. Big boys use the potty Benji, babies use their pants. Bad boy!” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Researchers validate our instincts

Sandy and I received a very pleasant surprise recently. I found an article offering suggestions that could make parenting three-year-olds a little easier. Researchers say rituals are very important to young children, and household routines and schedules give them a sense of security. Transitions are difficult at this age, and they suggest parents provide warnings of upcoming changes so the children have time to change gears: “ten more minutes till bedtime.” They suggest encouraging independent activities to build more self-reliance. As a matter of course, they suggest pointing out colors and numbers “There’s a blue Mommy car (VW Bug)” or “I see six tanker cars.” Sensory experiences like sand, mud, finger paints and puzzles provide excellent opportunities for learning and developing coordination. Our surprise was that we already do these things, not by design necessarily, but by instinct.

Kisses Make Boo Boos Better

When you’re three, a Mommy or Daddy’s kiss is required to make little ouchies heal. It’s too bad that children outgrow this miracle medical procedure, although the sidelines of high school football games would get awfully crowded with all the parents standing by to kiss their sons ouchies after every play. Still, at this age it works like a charm, and when you have active twin boys, the kiss healing business is brisk. Stubbed toes, bruised knees and scraped fingers seem to be the most common areas kissed, although I did have to address a bitten tongue and sore teeth with smooches recently. For diaper rash, they’re on their own.

Loco Motif

On our way to Missouri last summer we stopped north of Evansville to see a caboose in a photographer’s backyard. Hers was very original looking and she referred us to another home nearby that offered a really nicely painted customized caboose. The owners had renovated their rolling stock into a “getaway” room handsomely decorated in a railroad motif. One item that attracted the boy’s attention was a poster illustrating various important historical locomotives. Later in the summer, while visiting a railroad museum in Pennsylvania, we spotted the same poster in their gift shop. The boys received this poster for Christmas and became equally excited by the vivid photographs. It now hangs in what is becoming our train room.

Sunday School Demerits

When we arrived at the Sunday School classroom door this morning following church to collect the boys, the teacher asked for a word with us in private. This seemed rather unusual, and we were anxious to learn what the matter was. The nice young teacher said she had had to place Davey in timeout. Apparently, he had built a tower of wooden blocks and Benji had knocked it down. Davey retaliated by going up side his twin brother’s head with one of the blocks, creating a raised bruise and dramatic crying episode. In the car we asked Davey if he had hit his brother and he replied in a sweet voice “Yes, sorry Benji” and his brother replied, “Sorry Davey”.  If only we all could resolve our differences like that.

Long Distance Birthday Greetings Grandma

Considering that they live over 800 miles away, we are very fortunate to get to see Grandma and Granddaddy Roe several times a year. Unfortunately, Grandma’s birthday commonly falls on one of those in-between times, so we have to send her actual birthday greetings long distance and be flexible on party dates.  Last year, snow delayed their New Year’s visit and we held her birthday party a week afterwards. The year before that, we were in Florida for Christmas and celebrated her birthday a week early. Our first and only birthday party with her on her actual birthday was the most memorable. We spent it in our basement hiding from a tornado. Now that was a party, but so is every opportunity to spend time with Grandma Karen.

Refining Self Control

Our boys’ social and emotional development has been quite good so far. Being a twin probably is an advantage here because they have had to practice sharing the same space since day one. Already they: follow simple directions well; enjoy helping with household tasks; recognize their own limits and ask for help; play near, and sometimes with, other children; can make choices between two items; notice people’s moods and feelings; seek to explore new experiences; and are fairly independent. At this age, a typical child is; jealous, lies to protect them selves, imagines unfamiliar objects are “monsters,” and cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. We have seen some of this in each boy. Over the next year, we look forward to more: turn taking, sharing and cooperating; expressing anger verbally rather than physically; negotiating solutions to conflicts; and viewing their self as a whole person involving a body, mind and feelings.

Much to say and think about

Our boys’ language and thinking skills have already developed a great deal. They now process information and make calculated decisions based on cause-and-effect relationships. Each learns by doing and through their senses, and communicates in complete sentences of five words or more. It will be a treat over the next year to help them understand: the concepts of “now,” “soon,” and “later;” about past, present, and future; about how words relate one idea to another — if, why, when; the basic difference between fantasy and reality; and ideas about numbers and space — more, less, bigger, in, under, behind. They will begin to understand most of what is said to them and 75 percent of their speech will become understandable to strangers. The boys’ vocabulary will grow beyond 1,500 words and more complex sentences will emerge. Grammar will drastically improve as they begin to telling their own stories to one and all.

Birthday Benchmark Photo – 3 Years 1 Month

Highly active, silly, talkative, helpful and defiant may best describe the boys at this stage. They are constantly observing and exploring the world around them, and they want you to acknowledge every achievement they make “Hey Daddy, I found Thomas” or “Look Mommy, I pooped.” And of course with twins, this comes in stereo. It is a lot of fun except when their energy level surges into the red zone. Then trouble often follows. They often scream over one another to be heard. Benji will start acting silly and not stop. Davey will become focused on a task and strongly resist leaving even to eat or potty. Benji will tattle and Davey will hit when provoked. When they are under control however, our boys are eager to please. They will help put away toys and make the bed. Minding the boys these days is not for the meek.

Fine Motor Skill Tuning

If you watch the boys play with their toy trains very long, you can see them flex their fine motor skills. We have also used puzzles, play dough, and wooden blocks effectively to reach many of our three-year-old fine motor goals. Unfortunately though, Davey and Benji haven’t really shown much interest thus far in drawing and coloring. In the coming year, we have plans to find more ways to stir their interest in more paperwork. Sandy has found Thomas the Train coloring pages. We are hoping that will inspire their attention and help us teach them how to master: drawing circles, squares and crosses; copying some capital letters; drawing a person with two to four body parts; using scissors; cutting on a line; and finger painting. They can do it if they try.

Logan’s Leadership

Logan is 10 years old and the twins’ second cousin. He was the youngest of his generation until Levi, Benji and Davey came along. At this year’s Edds Christmas Eve party at Great Uncle Richard’s house, we watched Logan’s transformation from the family’s baby to a wise elder cousin.  Knowing he would see the boys and that they too were interested in trains, he brought his coveted Steam Locomotive book from his Lexington home to show them. Logan has been following trains for many years and had much to share with them. Later, while the adults were playing The Family Feud Game in the basement, Logan pulled up the Thomas the Train website to show the boys what all there was to do online. I have so many precious memories of playing with my cousins on previous Christmas Eves, and now the twins do too.

These are fun goals

Last year, Benji and Trey Davey really improved their gross motor skills. They stopped toddling and began walking agilely. The boys mastered running around obstacles, climbing ladders, using slides independently, kicking balls forward, riding a tricycle and alternating feet when climbing stairs. That was all preparation for this year, which is the year Mommy and Daddy teach their boys how to play ball. We are going to learn to catch, bounce and throw a ball overhead. Teaching them to take off running from a standing start, turn and stop in a controlled manner will perfect their base running skills. We are also going to learn to turn somersaults; hop on one foot; gallop; brush teeth; comb hair; wash and dress with little assistance. It’s going to be a fun year.

Proactive New Year’s Goals

Sandy and I learned much from the HANDS program the boys participated in their first two years. At first, there were skills that the boys scored poorly in - not because they couldn’t do it - but because they were totally unprepared. We found that when we looked ahead and prepared for the exam, each boy’s scores better reflected his true abilities. Parent’s today have the advantage of the internet, where abundant childhood data is readily available. Most researchers group developmental milestones into four major categories; gross motor skills, fine motor skills, language/thinking skills, and social/emotional skills. Neither boy is behind his age group in any skill and is ahead of the pack in a few. In order to master everything on our list, we will need to carefully plan more fun activities to stimulate their learning and mastery of our targeted goals. It’s going to be a busy year.